Losing my grandfather to dementia during the pandemic
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These photographs, taken by photographer Marzio Toniolo, document the final months with his grandfather during Italy's coronavirus lockdown.
Each time he went to a funeral, Gino Verani came away with a "santino," the traditional laminated card with a picture of the deceased on the front and a prayer on the back.
Over the years he would slip them into two small cardboard boxes in a drawer in the living room of his house in San Fiorano - a town in northern Italy that was at the epicenter of the country's coronavirus pandemic - along with his watch, an outdated cellphone and his keys.
Left: Gino lies in a bed set up in the living room of his home.
Right: Blood from when Gino had fallen down the stairs is caught on Ines’ cardigan when she had tried to help him up. Marzio said that fortunately, Gino had gotten away with only a few small bruises from the fall.
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Almost the whole town turned out to see him. Each person received a "santino" with Verani's picture on it. Toniolo added one to the boxes in the living room drawer, retiring his grandfather's collection forever.
Gino and Ines link arms at home. Marzio said that this was a particularly concerning time due to the occurrence of the first Covid-19 related deaths in the area.
Marzio said that Gino would often look outside the window to browse. That window represented his only escape route in moments when he could not get out, first due to the lockdown and then due to the worsening condition of his health.
The Toniolo family make a toast, clinking their glasses at home after cooking homemade ravioli to celebrate the apparent return to normal during the first red zone. There had been no deaths at the time.
Due to San Fiorano being on lockdown, it has caused Gino, who suffered from senile dementia, additional confusion. To try and help distract him, his family gave him a pen and paper to draw his thoughts. After he drew the aeroplane, he asked his grandson Marzio: "do you have the keys to the plane?"
Marzio said that when Gino was in a good mood, he would often greet Marzio and Bianca with a song or a smile, especially to amuse Bianca.
Marzio said that often, in moments of despair, Gino would ask Ines to sit next to him.
Marzio said the picture of Ines tying Gino’s shoe laces, was quite symbolic of what Ines was for Gino in recent years: constant and total support.
Ines helps Gino get ready for bed.
Marzio said that in moments of particular tiredness, Gino would ask his wife to go to bed very early in the evening. This, however, created temporal imbalances in him and sent him into total confusion. So Marzio’s grandmother did everything to keep him awake and he, in his own way, reacted by pretending to be desperate.
Ines helps bathe Gino.
Graziano Verani, a volunteer for the Civil Protection of San Fiorano, gives flowers to his parents Ines and Gino.
Gino makes a sarcastic gesture to bad luck, as he rests his arm which was treated, after he fell down a flight of stairs at his home.
Gino is comforted by Ines at their home. Marzio said that in what became rare moments of lucidity, Gino would ask for Ines’ hand.
Bed where Gino and Ines slept, lies empty on the first day that Gino was taken to a care home. When a bed was set up for Gino on the ground floor of their home, Ines started to sleep on a sofa next to the husband's bed.
Ines sits in front of a sewing machine. Marzio said that Ines closed herself in a shell of sadness and melancholy, when she was not able to see Gino for two weeks and was convinced that sooner or later she would be able to bring him home. Her wish, he said, was that Gino could die at home, however, he said it was unthinkable to be able to manage a patient in those conditions in a home and without adequate assistance.
Ines looks Gino’s photographs, in a moment of melancholy.
A photograph of Ines and Gino taken in 1957, the year that they got married, hangs in their home.
Bianca looks at a picture that she drew of Gino. The picture was later placed inside Gino’s jacket that he was buried in.
Visitors sit around the coffin holding Gino during his wake at his home. Many relatives and friends of Gino came to visit him during his wake which continued throughout the evening.
Francesca, 61, Gino’s daughter, sleeps on a sofa next to her father's body, the night before his funeral.
A funeral director stands in front of the coffin holding Gino before making his way to the church for his funeral service.
The nursing home, where Gino spent the last week of his life before he died. Due to the regulations put in place to prevent the spread of COVID-19, and Gino having to quarantine for two weeks when he arrived, his family were not able to ever visit him during the time that he spent there, up until when he died.
More than a week after Gino’s death, his funeral poster was still hanging from the bulletin.
